Post Number 18 - Gießen

There is a small handful of people, I’m sure, who would like to hear of my account back in Germany. I have decided out of the kindness of my heart to not hold this information from them any longer.

I have finally returned to Australia. Although I have been gone for 4 full months, I feel as though I have never left these sunny shores. How fortunate I am, then, that I have put in a little bit of effort to type this damn blog (which I considered to be something of a bother while on my journey).

I arrived in Gießen around 11pm, as one of the earlier trains had been cancelled. I was lucky enough to make the acquaintance of a young Irishman on my previous trip to Gießen and he kindly offered me a place to stay while I tried to make something of my future. As you read before, I have been nothing but unsuccessful in my endeavours to secure a job in Europe. Sure, I have had such a great experience (there is no doubt about that) and yes, I still had two months left before I had to leave altogether, whether or not I was fortunate enough for someone to see me through the endless number of European dance talent.

Truth is, I was tired. Tired and inevitably homesick. When Nat and I were in Gießen last, I was offered some hope, even if it was only a faint glimmer. Nothing was promised then, only that I could come back if I decided that I was really interested in working with the company. Even then I knew he was more interested in hiring Nat (and who wouldn’t be?) than me. However, that faint glimmer was the brightest thing in my dark horizon of opportunities. I would have been silly not to try to make something of it. At least.

I was invited by the ballet mistress to watch the company perform on the Sunday night. Naturally, I thought it a great idea. I needed to know what to expect, and what I was up against. Truth be told, it wasn’t all that bad. I was a little worried in the beginning, because I thought it was going to be a really ‘naf’ performance, but it improved as the show went along and it was actually quite enjoyable in the end.

The remainder of my stay in Gießen was spent doing class with the company. I was hoping and praying that this would be my very last audition on this continent for this season. How I missed home! I was almost desperate enough to change my flight without even thinking of the consequences (one of which would be that I would be jobless and feel like a total failure).

I will have you know that I was so tired that I had no option but to be myself. I couldn’t even be bothered to pretend to be better than I was. When I was given repertoire to learn, I learnt it to the best of my ability in the short time that I was given. When I was given the opportunity to show my partnering skills, I grabbed the bull by the horns (in this case, a lovely Bulgarian girl named Magdelena) and worked as well as I possibly could. When I did class, I worked as hard as I normally do in any class. I used the training that I have been given to impress the director. By Wednesday, I was pleased to discover that my efforts had been enough to clear haze that had been blocking my vision of my career as a dancer. Let me tell you that this haze was thicker than any haze ever experienced in Malaysia and it was growing thicker and more disappointing and depressing until now.

I was offered a contract! However, I have to be honest. I expected a full contract, not a beginner’s. I spent some time being disappointed over this but it dawned on me that I was being a fool. What an opportunity! What a stroke of luck! Finally someone had seen my potential, and my talent! I should have been so happy that I should have cried! What was I thinking? Who did I think I was, and what an ungrateful creature I must have been! Did I really have that much pride, even after being rejected left, right and centre? It was not long before I realized how stupid I was for thinking what I did. I guess part of it was due to the fact that some of my friends got full contracts and that I should at least be in the same league as them. I’m not, and I can proudly say it. Everyone’s journey is different, and I am more than happy about how mine is mapping out. Now I realize how lucky I am.

At this stage, in a time when the world is suffering an economic crisis, I, Keith Chin, got a job. (Let me also mention that Lauren Murray got an apprentice contract with the company in Dresden) When people are losing their jobs everywhere, I have one to look forward to in August. Plus, I have always wanted to live and work in Europe. I have everything that I want. What an idiot I was, I can hardly even comprehend it myself.

I boarded the plane back to London with a clear mind and a relaxed spirit. I spent a week in London before flying home. I did class at Pineapple Studios and met ‘the’ Mavin Khoo. It just so happens that he decided to do the same classes as me. I talked to him while in the changing room (not recognizing who he was), and mentioned that I was Malaysian. He was a little shocked and exclaimed that he was also of the same nationality. I couldn’t believe it when he told me his name. He is one of the few Malaysians who have made a name for themselves in the world of dance. He remarked that he thought well of my dancing and said to keep in touch. Who knows what this may lead to? Who knows what anything will lead to?

I certainly don’t.

 

END OF CHAPTER