Size of Fish

from Massimo Gerardi's Puppentänze. Photo by Rolf Wegst.

I had a thought.

I am constantly questioning myself about where I am in my career. I am not in a big company with a big name, doing international tours and working with renowned choreographers like a lot of my friends from school. Does that mean I am not as good? Maybe.

It got me to thinking if it's really important for me to work in a company like that, if the fame and the fortune(?) is something I should strive for. 

I remember when I was first in Europe, I was about to audition for Ballet Mannheim, a friend said to me, "Oh, don't go smaller than that, though."

First of all, I'm glad I didn't get into Ballet Mannheim, because when I watched them perform at the gala in Graz, I was really disappointed by the choreography. Second of all, I did get into something smaller than that, and I have no regrets. I have met some amazing people and dancers, and worked with crazy and quite well known choreographers. My quality of life is good, and I could have done the whole fame thing years ago if my mother hadn't brought me back down to earth, and I realise now that it's not important for me.

I know that the choreography I do isn't always amazing or inspiring, but I still dance everyday and have the opportunities to work on my own dance quality. That's important for me.  

Plus, I'm living in Europe, which has been a life-long dream.