Thoughts

My first two auditions are coming up this weekend.

It got me thinking, that this could possibly mean the end of my dance career. I know it's a stupid thing to say, because it will only end when I want it to end. However, as of this moment, I will be unemployed from August onwards, and there is still the possibility that I won't get any work till then. I've auditioned many times, and I know how slim the chances are, and how much luck is involved in breaking into or even staying in this market.

I know, I know, it's too early to throw in the towel (I haven't even done one audition yet), but I think it's good to be aware of the facts. The good thing is, I have nothing to lose, and I have been on top of my game, making sure I apply for the auditions on time, keeping on track with the Arbeitsamt etc., so at least I can say that I've done everything I can to find opportunities for myself. This time round, I've been invited to almost every audition, and certainly all the ones I want to go to, so I guess I'm not completely unemployable.

It's funny how after all these years working professionally, I still have the same doubts that I did when I was a bright-eyed 21 year old. Let's see if I'm better and dealing with these insecurities now. I'm honestly not sure.

Updates soon. My first auditions will be in Wiesbaden and Braunschweig. Wish me luck!